Recently, with the impending financial crisis, and devastating budget cuts to SUNY, the SUNY Student Assembly voted in support of a rational tuition increase plan.

We here at The Stony Brook Press know you’ve been inundated with massive amounts of Election ’08 coverage by now.

Oh my God, oh my God, Barack Obama is on the TV! There he is, yo, get your Obama t-shirts and pins and hats and other assorted Obama shit ready, we gotta cheer really loud! Yeah! Go Obama, Go Obama! Tell those retards in the other suite to shut the hell up, Obama’s gonna speak.

I’m sitting down with a bag of Cheetos, big bag I tell ya, extra cheese, and I calls to the wife. I say, “Hey wife you know what I heard on the tube?” And she says, “What, you already told me about them pills that make your diddly hoo hoo better.”

Three-thousand eight-hundred and sixteen miles east of Stony Brook University, just outside Geneva, Switzerland, CERN scientists are accelerating atoms at 99.9995% the speed of light through the Large Hadron Collider in what is the largest and most expensive scientific project ever to take place in human history.

There are many myths and misconceptions about registering to vote on a college campus. Sources, whose intentions are to obfuscate the process have been preventing students from voting in a location that they live eight months out of the year. A student lives on a campus for the majority of a year, shops in its local stores, uses its local facilities, and contributes to its local economy.

After reading your article last week on Obama and McCain’s policies towards gays and lesbians I was surprised to see that you never mentioned Ralph Nader as a candidate or any of his policies toward the gay community.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008, is a day when many dreams were shattered. In a cover story for People magazine, American Idol Season 2 runner-up Clay Aiken announced that he was a homosexual.

After years of insults by Kathy Griffin, rumors, tabloid exposes (including an online sex scandal with a former US Marine) Clay finally felt that now, with the birth of his baby son with his best friend, music producer Jaymes Foster, it was time to break the silence.