In what can only be described as my most quirky and funny bathroom experience outside of hearing a one-armed woman with a very raspy voice perform fellatio in the stall next to me at the Smith Haven Mall, I have experienced that which is the Psych A first floor bathroom. Upon entering the bathroom, you’re immediately met by a metal wall, which you must walk around. My eyes immediately spotted a plant in a vase at the counter and I found it to be very endearing for some reason. I like to imagine the plant trying its best to somehow make the bathroom a pleasantly-smelling area like the cute little plant it is.

I then sat down on the toilet in the stall to the left, which was low enough to not give you hemorrhoids but high enough to not be the ideal height. On the door was a handle which I then placed my backpack onto and was very appreciative for. To my right, I then found the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in a bathroom on campus. There’s a white panel with writing all over it. The writing includes but is in no way limited to: random poetry, wondering what’s behind the panel, a poop sign-in sheet and a list of movies that describe your poop. It was truly a magical experience and I left that bathroom a happier man.

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