Dating in the twenty-first century is different. Millennial kids generally suck at human contact, so it’s only natural for a dating app to be developed and actually be successful. Apps like Tinder have users choose what age range and gender you’re interested in, and then finds people in their area. On Tinder there are two options swipe left for no or right for yes. If two people swipe right for each other, a cute graphic will pop up proclaiming, “It’s a Match!” Then the user is given the option of either messaging the person or continuing to play.

Tinder is like Match.com without the stigma of divorced men trolling for trophy wives. The reality is dating in this day and age is really difficult and Tinder may ease the pain. Young adults don’t know how to talk to each other face to face. We are all too insecure to actually go up to another human being and start a conversation, so why not have an app do that for you?

Being the cliché that I am, I consulted two of my best friends, Angela and Jeanine, about Tinder. We went out to dinner on a Saturday night in Port Jefferson and talked about life, love and the general pursuit of happiness.  Inevitably, the idea that dating now is nonexistent came up, and I brought up Tinder. The app is free and it couldn’t hurt right? They looked at my like I was insane.

“Are you kidding me Lauren?” said Angela. “YOU want to join a dating site?” But Tinder isn’t a dating site, it’s a dating app. I’m staunchly against dating sites, they seem creepy to me, but Tinder is different. The app allows you to judge on the most superficial of levels: looks.

Second to drinking wine, judging people is our second favorite activity. “What’s the risk?” asked Jeanine. No risk really, creating a profile really only involves choosing pictures of yourself and it hooks up to Facebook, which does most of the work: finding common interests and friends, as well as how far away the person is from your current location. If someone says no to you, you’ll never know and your ego will remain intact.

Then,  they asked the most important question: “Why now?” Because ten years isn’t too far away and I don’t want to be in my 30s, alone, living with three cats and operating a podcast about knitting.. “Don’t be dramatic, you don’t know how to knit,” Jeanine said rolling her eyes at me. “If anything your podcast would be about the well being of your cats.”  Okay so I don’t know how to knit, but the fear of never meeting anyone is real.

My parents met organically and so did my parent’s parents and my parent’s parent’s parents. But how am I going to meet someone? We are not the most social of generations. We aim to please our Facebook profiles making it seem like we are all having a better time than someone else. We don’t go to parties to meet people; we go to get our pictures taken for Facebook or Instagram. #lame.

That night I created a Tinder account. It’s semi-addictive. There is a game mentality to it. When you get a match you feel as though you won a level. Tinder operates on one question: “Do you find this person attractive?” If yes, swipe right, if not swipe left. It’s completely superficial and occasionally, people even take the opportunity to message you. Nothing more romantic than a Tinder message that says, “DTF,” right?

I’ve heard stories of people finding each other through Tinder. Becoming couples and doing couple-y things like going out to dinner and asking how the other person’s day was. Actually caring about each other, imagine that! Until then go ahead, create an account with Tinder and keep dreaming the dream of going on a real date someday.


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