Dear Readers,
At The Press we’ve recently realized that our coverage has lacked in a few areas. So we decided to ignore those and start a column about drugzzz. My aim is to have this column serve the purpose of providing information about both mainstream and non-mainstream drugzzz, debunking myths and tips for enjoying your, um.. experiences. To note, safety is key with this subject and our goal is to inform you for your adventures. As someone who frequently partakes in being influenced, I have a base knowledge of drug culture, but I do not pretend know everything. This column is not the be-all-end-all of drug information, nor should any singular source be. Continue in your research and acknowledge your personal limitations before you partake.  I’ll be as factual as possible with the information I can find from online sources and those I speak with who are heavily involved in drug culture. Also, doing drugzzz is cool, but not doing drugzzz is also cool, so respect each other. For this first column, we’re just going to start with the basics.  Enjoy the trip. –The Lip Man
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Marijuana has been around for decades and smoke by millions. If you have yet to partake in this substance, and are interested what it has to offer, this is your campus guide for finding and smoking the ganja with out getting yourself caught or looking like a total herb.
1. Locate a dealer: This is a really easy thing to do at Stony Brook. You could pretty much spit into the wind on Stony Brook’s campus and it will land on a dealer. I’d hedge my bets that there’s a dealer in every dorm.  Normally it just takes some asking around.  Very few students will be offended by the question either, which makes the substance even more accessible.  You should end up with a name, which may be fake, and a phone number or two.
2. Contacting the dealer: Most dealers around here work off of texting solely. There are a few, often if you’re buying in larger quantities, who only do phone calls.  If you’ve met one of those more careful dealers, fear not, the first thing they’ll tell you is to call them instead of text. It’s very important that you include your name, what you’re looking for, and who you got their number from.
Sample first text:
“Hey, this is Gilgamesh.  I got your number from Enkidu in Tabler. Could I pick-up a dub from you?”
3. The exchange: The dealer will let you know where they want to meet. Sometimes it will be their car, sometimes you’ll be asked to go to their room or meet close to where they currently are. Before you get there have your money ready and easily accessible, but do not have it visible. Normally you can confirm what you’re getting if you’re not out in the open, such as “getting a dub, right?” Then casually take our your cash and trade it for your very first bag of grass.

4. Gettin high:  So now it’s time to inhale. Pick your method of consumption, whether it be a joint, bowl, bong, blunt, apple, or water bottle.  There are endless ways to smoke weed, so find the one that fits you best. Until you know how lenient your RAs or neighbors are, avoid smoking inside.  Pick a spot outside, that’s not heavily populated, but not desolate.  Don’t go hiding in the bushes, you’ll look suspicious as hell.  Honestly, very few people will give a crap if you’re blowing trees, just make it quick when you’re in public and be cool. Only bring with you what you’re going to smoke for now, no need to have anything extra you could get caught with afterwards.
(Helpful hint: Smoking in the female wing is usually much easier than smoking in the male’s–sexiest we know. But ALWAYS use a sploof)
5. Enjoy you’re high: Warning, you will most likely not get high the first time you smoke.  This is partially because you don’t know what it should feel like yet and you’re probably not inhaling correctly. If you’re having issues, befriend some smokers and ask them. Really, just do what you normally enjoy doing.  If you’re nervous that everyone is watching you, stay inside and listen to some music or watch tv. You’ll figure it out, and that’s half the fun.
Important Lingo:
To buy: to cop or pick-up
Dub: 20 dollars worth
Dime: 10 dollars worth
Nick: 5 dollars worth of weed. Don’t ask for this, no one enjoys selling these.
A bowl: A smoking peice, typically make from glass.
A joint: Finely ground weed rolled into a cigarette-like shape with rolling papers
A dutch: a type of cigar that’s paper you use to reroll with weed
A blunt: Finely ground weed rolled with dutch paper, typically bigger than a joint
A vap, or vaporizer: A machine that heats weed to the point where the THC (the chemical that gets you high) vaporizes. Vaporizers range from things that look like hookah pens, to full blow table-top machines.
Sploof: Something to filter the smoke after inhaling (DIY: paper towel roll stuffed with dryer sheets

The Lip Man and Ms. Token

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