Undergraduate Student Government members should be painting their faces black and white if they really want to reach the students if the results of a poll conducted earlier this month  and this reporter are to be believed.
According to the poll 47 percent of undergraduate students are fans of the Insane Clown Posse, beating out last year’s favorite, Kendrick Lamar, who fell to 43 percent. There was a 95 percent confidence level with a two percent margin of error with the results.
“It was surprising to say the least,” an anonymous pollster said, “But it looks like Stony Brook has been drinking that juggalo juice.”
This is a clear rise from last year’s poll results that had Kendrick Lamar as the clear favorite among students. This has led USG to consider the possibility of bringing Faygo, the drink of choice for Insane Clown Posse fans, onto campus as a cheap alternative to our current vendors.
Faygo representatives could not be reached for comment but told us that one liter bottles of Faygo can be purchased at most Family Dollar stores.
When asked if the results are an act of dishonesty on part of the pollsters, USG President Adil Hussain slowly lowered his smoking pipe, placed his pet cheetah on the floor, stood with such ferocity that his caviar went flying into a lowly freshman’s hands, and asked, “I’m sorry. What was the question again?”
Other sources within USG confirm that the poll’s results are real but when asked if the results will influence the artist selection for the End of the Year Concert next semester, they gave no comment.
The Insane Clown posse are a hip-hop duo from Detroit known for such songs as, “Miracles,” “Juggalo Island,” and “Hokus Pokus.” Their 1997 album, The Great Milenko, and their 1999 album, The Amazing Jeckel Brothers, both went platinum and their most recent album, The Mighty Death Pop!, peaked at number 4 on the Billboard 200. They are known for their black and white face paint, their supernatural themed lyrics and their annual festival called the Gathering of the Juggalos.

This is “news.”

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