Teenagers are notoriously hard to find a gift for. As the holiday season approaches, there’s one toy that’s smoking the competition. Topping the list of every teen right now: the smartvape.
In just a few square inches of plastic, these gadgets combine the latest in e-cigarette technology with the features you love on your mobile device. The Stony Brook Press’ gift experts assembled a smartvape gift guide to cue you into the hottest gift this season. Trust us — through smoke rings, the teens in your life will be saying, “Santa, I’m geekin’!”
What’s there to geek about?
In the mid 2010s, it seemed every teen had some variation of a vape in the front pocket of their school backpack. If they didn’t, they were in the process of hitting up a Snapchat vape dealer to snag one. Colorful advertisements promoted an assortment of delicious flavors such as mango and mint, distracting kids from realizing they’re consuming as much nicotine in a vape as they would in 50 cigarettes.
In every holiday story, there’s always a Grinch. In 2020, the Food and Drug Administration tried to stunt the vape industry’s reach. They issued a ban on unauthorized flavored cartridge-based e-cigarettes, which is still active today. Some states diminish holiday cheer even harder, like New York, where the sale of flavored devices — with the exception of menthol, mint, tobacco and wintergreen — is illegal.
While the FDA focused its wrath on Juul, other vape brands pounced on the opportunity to sneak onto the shelves. Disposable vapes made Juul and earlier models look complex in comparison. Disposable models are made of even cheaper materials, and typically require no maintenance, such as replacing juice cartridges or charging batteries.
Elfbar, GeekBar and Raz are some of the most beloved disposable brands to teens across the country. They’ve also been resistant to grouchy attempts to squander their spirit. Disposable vapes have been dependable for years, but the mouths of middle and high schoolers that vape on the regular are frothing for something fresh. Gifting a smartvape for any festive occasion will up the cool points of both you and the receiver.
What makes a vape smart?
Like most toys, the vapes are manufactured and shipped from China. The FDA is constantly cooking up new ways to interject on the importation of these made-in-China vapes. But the Department of Homeland Security doesn’t shoot down Santa Claus, so why is the FDA suddenly messing with the professionals?
The marketing geniuses behind vape manufacturing in China are on top of the nice list this year. They married two of teens’ favorite things: screens and nicotine. Thanks to their magical innovation, smartvapes now possess almost all the same features as an Apple Watch. With a few clicks on a smartphone, they can download the vape’s accompanying app and connect the two devices via Bluetooth.
Our smartvape of choice, the SouthConnect, pairs with the app, “WeareiniOS.” Its loading screen displays the message, “Life is endless, sports have no limits.” This speaks to the toy’s limitless functions. The sport is vaping. Smartvapes pack a seemingly endless number of puffs, so finishing every last one presents an exhilarating challenge of stamina.
Once their smartvape is paired, teens can customize the lock screen by selecting any image as a screensaver. To protect their prized possession, they can add a password to unlock the device. Beyond that, teens will be delighted to find functions that they once only imagined in sugar plum fairy dreams. They can view the weather forecast, use a calculator or program a reminder to pick up sufganiyot for Hanukkah. The devices include built-in speakers for teens to stream their favorite songs while they take a hit — perhaps the Mariah Carey classic, “All I Want for Christmas Is You.”
The average teen owns three or more technological devices, but they only have two hands. As a smartvape owner, running out of pockets for a phone, a gaming device, a laptop and a smartwatch is a practice of the past. No bigger than a credit card and no heavier than a car key, smartvapes are easy to stow anywhere. Teens won’t struggle to keep them out of sight of teachers and coaches who drag behind the wave.
Finding the right smartvape
The Stony Brook Press’ gift experts name the South Connect 35k as this year’s best smartvape model. It boasts the best value: 35,000 puffs for just $30. Its app flourishes compared to others, only crashing about once per every three times it’s opened. Our favorite flavor of the South Connect 35k is Blue Razz, which left us coughing in excitement at the first hit. The taste lingered in the back of our throats long afterwards.
Flavors vary per model. You might come across a sweet lychee or a savory mint, or even a combination of the two. Regardless, teens can expect a treat sweeter than grandma’s homemade holiday cookies.
Nearly all models retail within the affordable bounds of $15 to $35. You’re spending quadruple that if you gift a smart watch … and you can’t even vape from it. In comparison, the Geek Bar Pulse, one of the swankiest disposable vapes on the market, sells for a steep $28.99.
Since the vapes are illegal for physical sale in the U.S., you’ll embark on an exhilarating treasure hunt to purchase one in store. The kind of smartvapes in stock vary by vape shop, and there’s virtually no way to know in advance which brands the shop owners are behind the counter. The mystery is part of the excitement, like when you open your own presents under the tree. Besides, any smartvape is a smart stocking stuffer.
Although the products emphasize that they cannot legally be sold to those under the age of 21, only three out of 20 smartvape retailers our gift gifting experts visited requested proof of age. Gifting for teens doesn’t have to be a gamble. The addictive nature of nicotine will have them asking you for a new smartvape at every occasion.
Comments are closed.