Your bathroom floor, New York—After being carelessly dropped and broken by you, area Smartphone “5GX-QP” was reportedly unresponsive to your accusations of being a worthless piece of crap. “Why won’t you work,” you muttered angrily at the stupid goddamn fucking thing, swiping your finger to no effect across the fractured touch screen. “Stupid thing sucks.” After sustaining a salvo of swears and insults, the lifeless object only hardened its resolve to not fucking work, remaining firmly aloof to your complaints with cold indifference. “This was just what I needed today. Fucking great.” At press time, your smartphone was allegedly joined by a rebellious printer in conspiring against your mood.
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