On Thursday, March 27, in an undisclosed location within walking distance from the SUNY System Administrative Building in downtown Albany, the smell of stale cigar smoke permeated the air, mixed with the sickly sweet scent of blood as Wolfie took his fourth consecutive win in the bi-monthly fight club. The match had Wolfie pitted against the University at Albany’s Great Dane.
Wolfie started strong with a powerful left jab and followed with a right hook that floored the Great Dane, while Stony Brook’s Manager of Athletic Marketing Chris Murray shouted “put that fucking dog down!” from the crowd encircling the two fighters.
Wolfie jumped atop the stunned Dane and began pummeling while the crowd roared in concert with the violent display they watched over.
Quickly, the Dane became a pulpy brown mess of blood and torn fabric requiring Commissioner of the SUNY Athletic Conference Tom Di Camillo and a 6’9” man with neck tattoos to pull the frenzied Wolfie off his opponent.
There was a question of the legitimacy of Wolfie’s victory, in that foul-play has been an issue as of late. In the previous match, SUNY Old Westbury’s Panther Owie was found to be using plaster-cast wraps inside his gloves and was promptly dealt with outside.
Before a thorough examination could be performed, shouts of “RAID!” were heard above the din of the crowd, and commotion swept through the makeshift arena.
Everyone promptly headed towards the secret tunnel exit behind a poster promoting an upcoming Insane Clown Posse performance at Stony Brook University.
Amidst the chaos, Murray assured the crowd he’d be coming back for his winnings, and that they hadn’t seen the last of Wolfie.

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