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J.D. Salinger meant a lot of things to a lot of different people. For some, his most famous work, The Catcher in the Rye, was an anthem and a reflection of their own angst, an ode to alienation in a confusing, inauthentic world. For others, it was whiney and shallow, outdated squawking by a rich white boy who just needed to shut up.

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I’m a lazy, apathetic asshole. If the alien gods from the planet Ufraton came down to me and asked me to write a tell-all story about my encounter, I would say, “Sorry man, I just popped an Ellio’s pizza in the oven, and I can’t leave that shit unattended”. But Director Roland Emmerich has found a way to inspire me to warn you about 2012…the movie.

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