Dear Seawolves, 

We hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these trying times. Lately, we’ve been receiving emails about housing and dining refunds for those students who have been displaced by the COVID-19 outbreak, and there seem to be many rumors circling on what our response will be. After putting our thumbs up our asses for the past week, the administration has come to the following conclusion:

Fuck you. 

We know all of you just left for spring break. We know many of you don’t live in this state, or even in this country. We’re willing to bet you took a fair amount of things home, but certainly not all of them. 

Guess what, assholes? 

You now have to pay us for storing those things because you weren’t ready on three days’ notice. That’s right, some grody motherfucker is going to put their hands over all of your personal belongings, and you’re footing the bill. 

Did you think we weren’t going to find some way to make money off of this even if we have to issue refunds? Stony Brook will continue to go far beyond displacing, disrupting and disrespecting every single student as long as you have a cent we can suck from your lifeless corpse. 

Stay healthy (seriously, we need your money), 


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