We have a confession to make. Last semester we wrote an article about our different methods of dealing with creeps, but what we didn’t disclose is that we actually implemented our methods on a boy who was creeping on both of us at the same time. The subject has since graduated and we feel that we can tell you freely that we actually used the methods we each discussed in the article on the same guy. We felt that it was an opportunity to really see what does and doesn’t work when it comes to dealing with a creeper.
In the beginning of summer it began again, here is our story.
Immediately after finals ended, I went to California to visit a friend for a week. It was a Southern California bliss. After I came home I was packing up and moving to Manhattan for the summer, I got an internship and a place to stay. I was pretty excited about life. I heard nothing from The Creep. My play dead method worked. Until it didn’t.
It was a hot sticky day in the city, and I was exhausted from work. I crashed into my room, turned on the AC full blast and sat on my bed basking in the cool air. Then my phone chirped with a new Facebook message. It was The Creep inviting me out.
I ignored him and moved on. That’s it, that’s all there is.
The best way to combat unwanted attention is to ignore it! This is especially true in the case of this one particular Creep. At best, I could figure out a way to outwit him and get him to leave me alone, at worst I would get either very angry or very sad because of the way he constantly patronizes me whenever we speak. So I pretended it never happened. It’s a waste of time and energy to even reason with this Creep and frankly I could give less of a shit about him.
I am writing this story not because he actually bugs me or because I’m some man-hater, but because we are living in a weird time where men believe that unwanted attention is the greatest form of flattery. So while this is primarily for the ladies, I’m also speaking to the so-called men of Stony Brook.
By unwanted attention I’m not just talking about creeping but also cat-calling, wolf whistling or staring at my chest instead of my face when I am speaking to you (hello, up here moron).
Originally, this article was about creepers and how they will always exist, but it has turned into more than that. I’d rather chew off my own arm than have anyone think that my self-esteem is dependent upon how many guys hit on me in one day.
To wrap things up, The Creep tried two more times over the summer to hit on me through Facebook, both of which I ignored and haven’t heard a peep from him since. Swipe, click, delete and you’re wiped from my phone. Goodbye.
Now here’s my side of the story…
I thought it would be a fun social experiment to entice The Creep with an intellectual conversation. I wanted to get to know him, but not on a romantic level because trust me, I was not interested. I believe in networking… What if he was my potential boss one-day and I had an interview? He would remember me as the bubbly, outgoing gal that I am and maybe that could help me out.
However, any friendly flirtations seemed to make him think it was OK to message me all summer long. He wouldn’t ask me to hang out; he wouldn’t ask what I was up to. Instead, he would critique my Facebook profile or a status I posted that may have been grammatically incorrect.
I finally exploded and told him to F-off. I tried to be nice to you and then you have the balls to completely piss me off? Absolutely not. You can go suck a big one.
In conclusion, compared to my friend whose byline shares this article, she won. She ignored The Creep who ended up being The Bully and he was never heard from again. I soon realized that being nice can actuall
y have a negative outcome. Why bother?
The same thing happened while I walked to work in Manhattan a few weeks ago. I was dressed to the nines in my business heels and a form-fitting dress. My makeup was done up and my lips were painted red. I walked through midtown, staring straight ahead to the crowd in front of me when I heard a young man say, “Miss? Miss? Excuse me, miss!”
“You’re beautiful. You’re so gorgeous!” He said. I smiled politely and went on my way. But that smile turned out to be an open door to him grabbing my arm to try and get my attention. I pulled away, scared and pissed off that he had thought he had the right to touch me.
So the moral of my story: don’t smile at strangers and don’t continue talking to The Creep.