The first wave of United States Marines were deployed into Stony Brook University Saturday, March 29 in an effort to handle the large Canadian goose population on campus.
According to University President Samuel L. Stanley, the pest control experts that were hired by school officials to form a plan of action had been in talks with the United States Marine Corps for the past several weeks formulating a strategy.
“After weighing all of our options we concluded that the only option was military action,” Stanley said during yesterday’s press conference.
Col. Batt Nixon, executive officer in charge of what he calls, “Operation Maple Leaf,” said that his extensive experience in “mass extermination” meant he was the Marines’ first choice to head the initiative.
“I can’t go into detail, but I’ve seen my fair share of killing large quantities of people, animals and forests,” said Nixon. “Mostly in, uhm, overseas.”
The goose problem was first addressed earlier in the year when a mass warning was sent via email to students after it was found that a goose had defecated on President Stanley’s car.
According to Nixon, his unit includes 500 infantry, and three Abrams tanks, which he expects will be put to good use, especially around Roth Pond and the Staller Center steps, where the geese congregate en masse.
“I definitely feel much safer,” said Stanley “knowing that we’ve made the right decision in dealing with the absolute menace that is these geese.”
“This is the first time the Corps has performed an operation like this on a college campus, but it’s similar to a small city or village, with all of the targets gathered in large groups.” said Nixon. “Easy pickings, as we say in the military world.”
If the initiative sees success, Nixon says that similarly actions may be taken on campuses across the nation.

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