Behold: Super Gonorrhea. According to The New Yorker, it is “a sexually transmitted global epidemic.” Now, giving blowies without condoms is no longer safe!

It’s like old gonorrhea (not that I’ve ever personally experience the disease) but incurable. So they say.

“Don’t panic,” said Dr. David Baker, Stony Brook Medicine expert in sexually transmitted diseases.  He disagrees with the story from The New Yorker written by Jerome Groopman, claiming that this type of bacteria found in gonorrhea is nothing new, per se. It has simply mutated, making it resistant to the dual-dosage of medicine given to positive patients. With any type of bacteria, like Streptococcal pharyngitis (the bacteria that causes Strep Throat), antibiotics become resistant to the medicine within decades. But of course if you put someone’s pride and joy (the goods below the belt) in jeopardy, they will freak out. Doctors simply have to change the medication given to patients with the STD, and poof! Problem solved.

What it is an antibiotic-resistant strains of gonorrhea. It has been creeping around from Japan to the West coast of the United Stated and now on the East coast, according the Centers for Disease Control. The neisseria gonorrhoeaeis bacteria is showing immunity to the antibiotics used in countries around the globe.

Dr. Baker said drug companies are not the best at adapting to new antibiotics, simply because pharmaceutical companies won’t make as much money if they give all patients quick fixes rather than lifetime prescriptions.

The New Yorker also claimed that super gonorrhea is spread by fellatio. The article states the disease is after mistaken for a sore throat.  “Saliva contains enzymes that destroy gonorrhea, so kissing and cunnilingus don’t spread it,” says the article. But Dr. Baker disagrees saying any strain, old or new, of gonorrhea could be transmitted through oral sex.

“The only real way to protect yourself from STDs is condoms,” he said. “They work. And never trust anyone who has said they’ve been tested.”

So don’t freak out, promiscuous students. According to the CDC, gonorrhea isn’t even prevalent in New York State. Chlamydia is the highest, which Dr. Baker says shows no signs or symptoms. The highest national sexually transmitted disease is the human papillomavirus (HPV). Watch yaselves.


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