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Alex Jones, the creator and owner of the popular fake news organization Infowars, has been spreading his rambunctiously-delivered style of fake news in some form or another for over 20 years. Starting in public access television and radio in the late 1990s, evidence of Jones’ trademark outbursts and publicity stunts are available online in a variety of different forms. Jones has somehow managed to keep people talking about him for decades, and is one of the biggest names in conspiracy theorist circles even after all these years. More impressive than his longevity, however, is how Jones has managed to keep his platform afloat and financially secure in a time when long-standing media organizations are struggling with methods of raising revenue in the age of the Internet. Currently, the effects the internet has had on the news industry cannot be overlooked. Time Inc. recently cut down on the amount of issues…

After five years without a pool, Stony Brook’s Administration has decided to close its barely-opened pool, opting instead to build the largest on-campus Starbucks in the nation.. The University closed down the pool for renovations in 2012 and for years the pool room of the athletic center went unused and abandoned. The University finally reopened the pool at the end of the 2017 spring semester, but since then there have been some major changes. The University expected a huge rush of students to the opening of the much awaited pool. However, after so many years of being poolless, the University had inadvertently attracted a non aquatic student body. In short, Stony Brook students aren’t interested in swimming. Only six students showed up to the pool’s grand opening. Since then, pool attendance has been dwindling greatly.. There is however something else that students want more than aquatic athletic spaces. Coffee.. Stony…

As the second 2017 summer session came to a close, resident assistants did their rounds one last time among the 25 students living in Greeley College. The occupancy of one of the single-person rooms, to the RAs’ surprise, included a baby Asian elephant. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” James Jameson, a Greeley RA, said. “That kid actually managed to domesticate an elephant in his 1-by-3-foot closet.” All the talks around the RA office since then, Jameson said, have been speculations of how 19-year-old Jimmy John Jenkins actually succeeded acquiring and maintaining the animal. The students living in rooms near Jenkins’, however, wondered how the RAs passed over their rooms so obliviously during room inspections. “The RA knocked on the door while I was making a house out of my empty beer cans, and I’m pretty sure I had just ripped the bong a minute earlier in my boy’s room,”…

Surveillance cameras within Stony Brook University Hospital have just captured a bewildering phenomenon involving University President Samuel L. Stanley early this morning. According to the footage recorded at 2:38 a.m., Stanley was shown downing vials of blood — donated from a campus blood drive last week. After consuming sixteen containers, he then proceeded to transform into a bat and flew out of a second story window, screaming “long live the Count!” An anonymous student released the footage on YouTube and within several hours the video has racked a whopping 3.6 million views. While the comment section for the post has been disabled, social media is ablaze with the news of Stanley’s supernatural activity. “Vampire President Stanley” is one of the hottest topics on Facebook, second only to “A.I. Dean Kopp.” The Stony Brook Press got the chance to speak with the original author of the YouTube video. For privacy’s sake,…

LCD Soundsystem, witty dance-punk pioneers, announced plans today for their second breakup in six years, according to sources close to frontman  James Murphy. The multi-night event will take place over 31 nights this coming December and will be chronicled in an upcoming documentary The Long as Fuck Goodbye. The news comes in the form of another long Facebook post to fans, but it might have raised more questions and enraged more fans than intended. An excerpt reads: “first things first, let’s end this thing with some clarity. For just one more night until the next time, we (james (me) and others (maybe)) will be playing with friends and family for nearly 3 hours or however long I rent the venue for– playing stuff we’ve never played before or just winging it. We’re doing this. This is it. This is happening (again).” The remainder of the 28 page post (we printed it…

After all these years, Gator is dead… again… kind of. The cheesy joke that became one of the biggest cult hits of recent memory has not had so much as a teaser image since the release of the franchise’s latest entry, Man 2: I Didn’t Man To, did horribly at the box office. In an interview after Man 2’s release, the series’ original creator, Charles Spitzner, reportedly stated “Y’all’ve taken this way too far. I’ve been saying that the joke died.” With no new Gator or Man movie seeming to be in the works, and even with the original creator saying that it should end, it looks like after all this time the franchise as a whole may actually die. As such, now seems like the best time to look back at the franchise, both to remember where it came from and to try to analyze both what it did…

Hip hop heads often engage in lively debate about the genre’s best and worst. Some scrutinize lyrics endlessly while others judge rhythm and delivery, Some claim Kendrick Lamar is king while others cry for Drake as rap’s monarch yet both camps fail to realize that the crown really belongs to Miami native Lil Pump. King Pump has risen from the dark pits of Soundcloud into popular summer playlists, WorldstarHipHop and beyond. His 17-year-old charm has brought about a new sub-genre of rap rife with zoned-out pillheads, yet his geniusness has completely reshaped the genre’s look and sound. King Pump paints a very real picture of our generation’s existentialist paradoxes. On “Molly,” he tells the tale of a wild night out. “I’m on the molly, I’m on the bean,” he whines and raps about fucking your sister garbed in designer clothing. It is a precise commentary on the angst that millennials…

Students concerned about health risks of drinking coffee can now consume it through IV drip instead. STONY BROOK, NY – It’s a well known fact that drinking coffee has its dangers, which is why many Stony Brook University students are now opting to inject it directly into their veins. The trend comes as part of the school’s initiative to use its status as a leading health sciences school to advocate healthier living. “These caffeinated beverages are highly marketable and seen everywhere in the media,” says second year clinical lab sciences major Jacqueline Clark. “We think it’s irresponsible to promote such unhealthy habits, so we’re taking it upon ourselves to promote a better way to get these chemicals into our bloodstreams.” Students who have adopted this new technique have reported overwhelmingly positive results. “My resting pulse rate beats as quick as a heart attack, but at least I’m never dehydrated,” said…

Fake News refers to a term recently coined by President Donald J. Trump in order to denigrate  news contrary to his policies. He branded media outlets as “Enemies of the people”. In a country that champions liberties such as freedom of the press. It is an unusual case for the United States to have a hostile policy towards the media. One of the most outrageous cases of Fake News circulated by Trump would be his views towards global climate change. Not only does he consider it to be false, but he made the claim the theory stems from the Chinese government in order to economically cripple the American economy. A clearly false statement given how the overwhelming majority of scientists have agreed global climate change exists and human activity is primarily responsible for it. Trump chose to spread the lie in order to appeal to his constituents – One of…