A stimulus package is needed for your mom, sources close to your mom say.
Democrats and Republicans have agreed to a preliminary bill to stimulate your mom at the approximate cost of $800 billion to the federal government.
“It’s a great day for America,” said the Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid (D-Nev). “After oh so many years of flaccid failure from your dad and assorted prostitutes, your mom can finally get the stimulation she needs.”
Inauguration fever swept through Washington D.C. and somehow, the city emerged in one piece and successfully sworn in its 44th President. Eleven hours on my feet had left me with a mild feeling of numbness that was successfully counterbalanced by dinner with a former Press staffer and a decent night’s sleep.
There is no question that Stony Brook is currently overflowing with problems: academic resources are dwindling, our Byzantine bureaucracy is frustrating, the infrastructure is crumbling, and students are suffering.
They are the kings of sport, the heroes of our childhoods, and perennial back page superstars. As kids, we would emulate their every move – their swings, their jump shots, their Hail Mary passes – aspiring to one day be the athletes we loved.
The Democrats regained control of New York’s government in November. New Majority leader Malcolm Smith had spoken forcefully about his commitment to legalizing gay marriage.
But just how close are we to becoming the first state in the country to legalize same-sex marriage by legislation rather than by court ruling?
Brace yourself. You may not like the answer.
The North Shore Sun ran a profile of the Stony Brook College Democrats the other day, noting the potential impact a university with 16,000 students can have on the Brookhaven[...]
The most expensive item the Reverend of the Church of Stop Shopping has is an espresso machine imported from Italy, which was given as gift. “It’s taking over our life,” jokes Savitri Durkee, director of the Church of Stop Shopping and wife of the Reverend. “It’s the fanciest thing we have. It’s fancier than our car.”
Campus Culture · Culture · Top Stories
When he’s not busy protesting the Disneyfication of Times Square, saving the Poe House from destruction or working to prevent the private development of Union Square and Coney Island, Reverend Billy likes to celebrate the holidays with friends and family in a more traditional way.
Campus News · News · Top Stories
As the end of the semester grows near, some residential students at Stony Brook University find themselves in a bothersome and familiar predicament. While others deal primarily with the stress of grades and finals, these students must also concern themselves with how they will manage to eat.
Editorials · Opinion · Top Stories
Dr. Timothy J. Kinsella was granted his license by the New York State Department of Education on December 2. However, oddly enough, the administration of our Health Science Center won’t even take the time to comment on that, even after the publication of an article detailing Dr. Kinsella’s checkered past.
