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Jeffrey Who? He’s Our President, Stupid!

Not many students know about the Undergraduate Student Government at Stony Brook. In fact, last year’s election polled a total of 1,059 students for the two presidential candidates, which Jeffery Akita won by 113 votes.
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Stony Brook Announces Plan For New State-of-the-Art Construction Site

Yesterday, President Shirley Strum Kenny recently announced plans for a brand-new construction site to be built on the plot of land currently used by the residents of Roosevelt Quad. “I am happy to announce that Stony Brook University is continuing its progress as one of the leading universities in America,” Kenny said. “This new construction site will truly usher in a new age of sublime piles of dirt.”
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The New Facebook and That Lame Election

In what many strategists and political scientists deem as an election that the youth may control, change has been at the forefront, from campaign speeches, to empty political promises, to Facebook. Yes, even Facebook, the popular social networking site among many of America’s finest collegiate intellects.
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Ask a Lesbian: Candidate Stances on LGBT Issues

I know the presidential election is coming up, and as a lesbian everyone tells me that I should be voting for Obama but as a fiscal conservative I was originally going to vote for McCain. Now I’m just confused and unsure because I’ve been hearing that McCain and Palin are not very gay friendly when it comes to their policies. Could you give me a little more information on both candidates when it comes to their stance on LGBT issues?
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Coke Killed

Wondering why all the Coca-Cola machines on campus are empty? This is because, as of June 19, Stony Brook University has entered into a new ten-year exclusive contract with Pepsi.
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Stephen Stakey: In Memoriam

The Roth Regatta is normally a time for cheers, cardboard, and getting wet in the pond. This year, however, the festivities were marked with sadness as Stony Brook lost a Seawolf. Stephen Roy Stakey collapsed while supporting his fellow Marching Bandmates as they rowed across the pond.
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News Analysis (Really): The US Surgeon General

The United States Surgeon General protects America from fundamental germs, radical disease, and foreign viruses. With an army 6,000 strong, the Surgeon General liberates America’s health from the rock-wielding health hazard extremists.