Author

Jay Shah

Browsing

As soon as Jack Black’s sneering face popped out of a window and he began choking on his spittle as he ranted and screamed about wanting to be left alone, I was sold on Goosebumps.   The story is a cliche of a cliche. A teenager and his mom move to a small town after his dad dies, he falls for the girl next door, finds a clumsy best friend and they go off on an adventure. The adventure just so happens to be a Goosebumps plot, and that’s where the movie flies off the tracks in the best possible way. The main character, a charismatic sinkhole played by Dylan Minnette, quickly aggravates his neighbor, Jack Black, after flirting with his daughter, Hannah (Odeya Rush). Zach breaks into his neighbor’s house after he thinks Hannah is in danger. He discovers original Goosebumps manuscripts in the house, and after a series…

Space was never not sexy, it just got lost in the background noise over the past few years. But movies like Interstellar and Gravity are generating renewed interest in space with loaded casts and incredible CGI. Ridley Scott’s The Martian is no different. Mark Watney (Matt Damon), an astronaut on a research expedition to Mars, is presumed dead during a storm and his team decides to evacuate without him. Watney isn’t dead. The first act of the movie has him reestablish contact with NASA on Earth, find a food source and keep his sanity while listening to nothing but horrible disco music, the only music his teammates brought for the trip. Matt Damon does a solid job bringing the character to life. Watney is charming and funny while maintaining a great nerdy streak, which was central to the character in the novel the movie is based on. Damon generates this…

All USG election votes prior to 3 PM today will be erased due to a mistake with the ballot, which left out some positions and candidates, according to Steven Adelson, the current Vice President of Academic Affairs. . The USG Elections were taken down from SOLAR after candidates realized that they weren’t listed on the ballot. Maximillian Sharps, CAS Senator candidate for the PARTY Party, said he realized the system was taken down around 12:10 as he was voting. “All votes from earlier today will not be casted because of an error on SOLAR,” said James Alrassi on Facebook, USG Presidential candidate. Thomas Kirnbauer, Administrative Director for the USG, said voting will be “extended to 3:00 PM on Friday” to make up for lost time today. Jacqueline Wall, Chair of The Elections Board, said, “All votes prior to this time will be erased, and those students will be emailed and…

David Horowitz, a conservative political activist, said that the “Muslim Student Association is a recruiting tool for the Muslim Brotherhood” at a talk on the negotiations over Iran’s nuclear program organized by The Stony Brook University College Republicans. “Barack Obama is a total disaster, he has set the Middle East aflame by throwing out Mubarak and letting the Muslim Brotherhood in. By overthrowing Gaddafi, throwing Libya into chaos,” Horowitz said to a crowd of approximately a hundred gathered students, professors and interested parties in Javits 103. Horowitz began his presentation with a 10-minute video about “A Genocidal Campaign on America’s Campuses.” It described the rise of anti-Israeli sentiment across American college campuses. As the video came to an end, Horowitz continued to speak about the “War on Israel” being waged by the Muslim Student Associations across America. Members of the College Republicans tried to steer the conversation to the negotiations…

Westeros is kind of a fucked up place. Jon’s out beating up kids, Cersei’s trying to have sex with her cousin who just became a monk and Robb Stark is still dead. So after Robb Stark died during the Red Wedding where he and his pregnant wife were repeatedly stabbed by the Boltons and Freys, Joffrey died. Then Tywin died. Westeros is just not a good place if you don’t want to be dead. It’s really not a nice place for the animals either. Remember Robb Stark’s cuddly direwolf, Grey Wind? Guess what happened to him. That’s right, D.E.A.D. I think they chopped its head off. They also chopped Robb Stark’s head off, after he died. If I remember correctly, they then took the head of Grey Wind and sewed it on to the decapitated body of Robb Stark, who was brutally killed in a barrage of crossbow fire during…

Summer is just around the corner and that means millions of people will need an excuse to stay indoors with air conditioning for two hours. Thankfully, cinemas are still open (for now) and will be chock full of new movies for the public to soak up. We took a look at the ones we think will trend on FaceTwitGram or something Mad Max: Fury Road (May 15) 36 years after the first installment, the angry Aussie is back for a new generation. Original writer/director George Miller helms this reboot with Tom Hardy taking over the title role. This time around, Max must team up with a mysterious woman named Furiosa (Charlize Theron) to evade crazy killers in tricked out cars that would make the Fast and Furious cars leak oil. Yes, Fury Road is another addition to the reboot/remake/franchise canon. Yes, it follows “The Hunger Games,” “Divergent” and…

Zayn Malik, a member of the pop boy band One Direction, has formally announced his candidacy for the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election at a concert in Hong Kong. Connecting his rise as a world famous pop star to the American Dream, Malik spoke of his roots as an English-born X-Factor contestant whose claim to fame was at most a head attached to a torso, who rose to prominence after impressing Simon Cowell and teaming up with three other guys, who also have heads attached to torsos. Speaking to thousands of cheering fans at a concert in Hong Kong, Malik said “I just feel the presidential field right now lacks a lot of talent. Sure, they can govern and make laws. But can they sing?” He urged his audience to understand the dire straits that America is in, “It’s now or never, don’t overthink, just let go.” The decision came during…

The Black Womyn’s Association won approval to reinstate their budget on February 19 after weeks of working to resolve issues with the Undergraduate Student Government. Their line budget status was initially revoked by the USG on February 12 after it was frozen due to an alleged failure to follow the Financial Bylaws which require that all clubs hold at least one USG funded event per semester. After losing the club’s budget, the E-Board met with Senator Lloyd Ippolito during his office hours to discuss the issue and create a presentation to get their budget restored. After the President of Black Womyn’s Association, Bianco Boafo — a senior biology major –presented the club’s case to the USG, the problem was shown to be the fault of bad timing and technical difficulties. The club holds large events during the spring semester to celebrate Black History Month in February and Women’s History Month…

After years of stagnancy, the 104 year old skeleton in charge of the Academy Awards decided to open up six new categories in preparation for the 2015 Oscars. In exchange for multiple ‘favors,’ The Stony Brook Press has been given an exclusive sneak peek at the categories and their nominees. Category: Academy Award for Needlessly Long Running Time Nominees: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey   This category was sponsored by the spinning grave of J.R.R. Tolkien. After stretching out a 300 page children’s book into a 300 hour epic, Peter Jackson celebrated the nominations by diving Scrooge McDuck style into Smaug’s pile of treasure. When told that the gold and jewels were computer generated and that Middle Earth wasn’t real, Peter Jackson growled and started biting his producers in the genitals.   Category: Academy Award for…