As if the world weren’t a dark enough place already when that orange Cheetos face got into office and decided to be as evil as possible in less than a week, the world has lost another champion.
Gabe the dog, famous for his ability to bork through the darkest of times, has had his light snuffed out. On Jan. 20, the dark announcement came from his official Facebook page.
I can’t fathom the loss of another great being from this universe. We lost so much in 2016 and now, with Mr. Tinyhands in office, we’re gonna keep losing, bigly.
Although Gabe’s greatest borks will live on forever on this YouTube channel and tons of other assorted videos, it is impossible to ignore that his absence can already be felt throughout the internet. The ripples created from Gabe’s death in the great sea that is the Instagram explore and Facebook’s “trending” pages still move but soon they too will cease. His presence, or lack thereof, will be felt by animal lovers and meme aficionados alike.
Here, I’d like to rate my favorite of Gabe’s borks in honor of his departure from our realm. They aren’t necessarily the best borks in order, but each successive bork makes me laugh exponentially more. If nothing else, I can only hope that reminiscing about his beautiful voice and deep, dark eyes will help me move on from this misery and pain. Starting from 10, the borks that spoke deepest to me were:
10. Borkemon Go
6. Bork Busters
I’m not crying, you’re crying. No, seriously, I’m not crying. I’m laughing. I don’t fully understand why Gabe makes me roll on the floor– red in the face laughing like I haven’t since I was a kid– but he does.
Is it because he’s just a puffy little white dog borking into the night who, a decade earlier, would never have made it to the fame he’s achieved without an appearance on America’s Funniest Home Videos? Is it because a decade later his comedy might not be appreciated by the complex meme consumption of 2027? Maybe Gabe needed to go now, so his legacy could live on after his death, his great sacrifice for our joy. Gabe is the hero we deserve, but not the one we need right now. So we’ll search him on Youtube. Because he can take it, because he’s not a hero at all. He’s a silent borkian, a watchful borker. A Bork Knight.