As I roam the long and crowded street of the bustling New York metropolis, my pants begin to vibrate, and I whip out ‘ol pinky. I’m not the only one reaching for his sacred pink, for bros the world over have seen the future: bro’s gold.
What is bro’s gold? It just so happens to be the latest fashion for men who love to look good, but, to the uncultured, bro’s gold is a pseudonym for the new rose gold iPhones. That’s right. Pink gold is no longer a treasure that women keep locked up for themselves, hoarding it in order to keep men away from the rosy goodness that this fabulous phone presents.
Bros have been shamed for far too long whenever we’ve worn pink, having our sexualities and masculinity questioned again and again. But the bro’s gold revolution has changed all that, and pink can finally be manly now. I’m betting the next pink Power Ranger will be a fearless, pink, badass bro.
And the manly inquisition isn’t solely happening within the domain of telecommunications. Dudeoirs are now becoming socially acceptable, which is good news for you as well, ladies.
Dudeoirs are basically boudoirs for men. Don’t know what boudoirs are? They’re essentially sexy photos you take with professional photographers who work with you to make you look as best as you can. Some have called boudoirs empowering and a spicy gift for your significant other, and now this can all be transferred over towards America’s most disenfranchised demographic: bros.
Despite what the Magic Mike films showed you (the first one being clearly better than the second, just saying), it’s hard for men to take sexy pictures. Unlike women, we have a limited amount of sexy poses at our disposal, we look stupid with only our socks on, we aren’t picky about the photos we’re in and society hasn’t forced the concept of beauty down our throats. As us bros lack all these magnificent qualities, our sexy pics suffer the consequences.
However much we’ve tried to step up our game, it was just never enough. This is why I’m grateful for businesses like NYC Dudeoir, who focus solely on male photography. Whether it’s nudes, underwear or even couples photoshoots you’re looking for, NYC Dudeoir has got you covered.
Some have pointed out that most men aren’t sexy enough to take these provocative photos, that no one wants to see our surprisingly hairy bodies in an album spread, and that Google says that those who search for dudeoirs also searched for gay massages. To them, I say, whatever, bruh. Do you even lift?
It’s said that progress takes time. But as most civil rights activists will tell you, progress takes action. The more bros we have wielding pink iPhones, snapping risky nudes and watching more shows about little ponies, the more we embody the words of Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. and even Mahatma Gandhi himself. Remember, be the change you want to see in the world, bro.