“I’m ‘bout to be professional. Homie I’m professional.”

Name a rapper from an upper middle class Jewish family who calls himself “The greatest rapper alive.” If you guessed Lil Dicky, you’re correct! If not, be prepared to witness the next rap sensation aiming to introduce a new market to the world of hip-hop.

With a self-described style of “funny-type rap,” Lil Dicky doesn’t display any of the qualities that make up the “typical” rapper. He’s lanky, slightly awkward, and always sporting a disheveled curly Afro. He kind of looks like an older, bearded Screech from Saved By The Bell (but that’s just me).

Oh, and if you didn’t guess already, he’s white.

Now, this isn’t unusual today with artists like Logic, Action Bronson and Mac Miller, to name a few, but unlike them Lil Dicky makes being a white guy a part of his brand. I mean, he even has a song titled “White Guy” where he talks about how great it is to be one.

Regardless of how that may sound, he’s very talented and I’m predicting that he’ll surpass the prominence of all those rappers and eventually be part of the conversation when mentioning rap.

He started rapping as a way to “get attention comedically” so he could get into acting and writing for television. Instead, he fell in love with the music.

Last year, he started a Kickstarter campaign to fund his debut album. He had around 35,000 fans on Facebook, 30,000 followers on Twitter and a goal of $70,000. $113,000 later, Lil Dicky was able to release Professional Rapper in July of 2015.

And let’s face it, the boyz got barz. Be warned however, that it’s not for sensitive ears.

“Professional Rapper (Ft. Snoop Dogg)” is the second track on his album. The song is structured as an interview. When Snoop asks why he wants to be a rapper, Dicky keeps it super real (Oh my God it’s the best/ B*tches let me draw up on their breasts/ Literally I can reinvent myself/ I get a forum to express myself/ It’s never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself). Dicky talks about his upbringing and tries to convince Snoop that he should be given the opportunity to showcase his talents (I guess, I just wanna be the best/I just want to do it my way/And turn the whole game sideways/And show people you ain’t gotta be resigned to the highway/You can make a path while these mother*****s drive straight). The lyrics themselves are good but his flow is seriously insane. The way he’s able to switch between patterns displays true talent.

“$ave Dat Money (Ft. Fetty Wap and Rich Homie Quan)” is the tenth song on Lil Dicky’s album. The song is literally about saving money (I’ve been saving money since a mother****er thirteen/ I wear the same pair of jeans everyday/ Free sandwiches, homie, two stamps away/ Book flights in December but I leave in May/ Drugs are generic but still work the same/ I get logins for Netflix from my cousin Greg/ Thanks Greg!). It’s a funny song with an awesome beat. A reason I find it so likeable, is because I can personally relate to some of the things he says (We ain’t bout to go and spend money just to flex on ‘em/ We ain’t really got it like ya’ll). As a student, there’s been a few times when I chose not to go to The Bench because honestly that $15 cover charge just wasn’t worth it.  Also, the video to this song is one of the most epic things ever. Make sure to check that out along with the behind-the-scenes documentary.

Before I get to this last song, I think it’s time for some honorable mentions.

“White Crime” is Dicky demanding street cred because he has, in fact, committed vicious acts of violence (Walk into the movie with my pants full/ Twix, bag of chips, plus a Snapple/ Stealing all the shampoos, from the hotels pretty bathrooms/ Cheating, I’ve been peeking in the classroom/ Looking like a nice guy, til I take your mother****ing Wi-Fi). Savage af.  “Let Me Freak For Real Tho (Outro)” is my favorite song on the album. The reason it isn’t featured is because it’s extremely sexual (obviously) and kind of vulgar towards women (In a rap song?! No way!)  but eh, I’m not that sensitive. He uses auto tune over a sick beat and the whole thing, in my opinion, is gold. I won’t quote any of the lyrics though.

Lastly, “Pillow Talkin (Ft. The Brain)” is the thirteenth track on the album. It also happens to be the first song I’ve ever heard by Lil Dicky. The only word I can use to describe it is ‘different,’ because it is extremely different. Oh, and if you’re wondering if you’ve ever heard of The Brain, you haven’t, because it’s his actual brain. He has a song featuring his actual brain. It makes sense if you don’t think about it. Anyway, this song is either a hit or miss. You like it or you don’t. I happen to love it. It’s basically an after sex conversation, hence the title. They touch a wide range of topics including war, aliens, God, dinosaurs, pre-capitalist society, hmmm what else? Oh and fashion and Pangea. There really are too many great quotes to just pick one so I suggest you just give it a listen.

As Dicky says in “Professional Rapper,” it’s pretty good for his first album. It’s not like a lot of popular rap these days that has repetitive subject matter or no real meaning at all. If you’re a lover of music, this could be for you. It’s comedic storytelling at its finest.

Professional Rapper Review
4.6Overall Score