Rest easy, Stony Brook students: our school has all the upvotes it could ever need. Yup, Stony Brook might not be in the headlines, but on Nov. 27, it hit the front page of Reddit, placing SBU in the company of knowledgeable mallards, adorable kittens and whatever social justice issue we’re getting irked about today. Except it wasn’t a story posted by Stony Brook that made it to the main page; in fact it wasn’t a post at all. Instead, a comment made by Redditor Shakakka99 mentioned Stony Brook, and the original post made it to the front page. Not quite the same, but Stony Brook, like every other low-self-esteem Internet user, will take whatever it can get.

So what was the question? Was it “What is the most awesome state university you’ve ever attended?” Was it “What schools have mascots that are lovable and energetic?” Nope and nope. Congrats Stony Brook, you’re getting that glorious karma from HighJackin’s question “What is the absolute worst smell you have ever smelled?”

And the answer? One time, in 1987, when Shakakka99 was a bright-eyed and “eager to please” teen, he attempted to clean the grease trap in Kelly Dining, unleashing a “horrendous fucking grey and black sludge” that spread across the dining hall and made over four employees vomit instantaneously. Shakakka99 describes the smell as being “a living, breathing thing—a rancid mixture of purified egg, bacon grease, rotting flesh, and whatever the hell else was in there.”  Apparently no one had cleaned the grease trap “in fucking years.” It’s a great story for you to be reading right now, when you’re probably in line at Wendy’s or eating that omelet at the SAC, right?

So congratulations, Stony Brook. You might not be making the headlines, but you’ve got so much Reddit cred it’s not even funny. Either that, or what’s not funny is that in 1987, your dining hall was capable of summoning a hellish nightmare beast constructed purely of fetid odor. I’m sure your college friends are thrilled.

Author

Write A Comment