Ah, Lil Wayne, Weezy F. Baby, Carter, Cartey, Deepwater Carter, Dr. Carter, Eagle Carter, Coach Carter,  Mr. Go Harder, Young Carter, Young Baby, Birdman Jr., Weezy, Lil Weezy, Weezy F. Crazy, The Martian, Heatman, Fireman, Husain Wayne, Lil Weasel, President Carter and last, but not least, Wizzy Fizzy.

Some would call him The Best Ever, others might call him a bitch. Either way, he’s dropping Tha Carter IV at the end of this August. I was lucky enough to get an advanced deluxe addition and I had it bumpin the last week, while I picked up my little cousin from day care, and while I drove past churches and pulled over ice cream trucks, especially.

Enough about me, let’s talk about F. Man. (Is that one of his nickname already? Can that be another nickname? I’m going to try to make that stick.) Some stuff off the new album sounds pretty dope boy fresh. Mostly though, it’s fallen below my expectations for The Weez (another one!). This is especially disappointing considering this is Wayne’s first huge release to have been recorded after he read the Bible in his posh jail cell (2010’s laughable “rock album” Rebirth and the semi-interesting but mostly boring I Am Not a Human Being were both recorded prior to Weezy doing time).

Right off the bat, Tha Carter IV sounds silly. The beat for “Intro” irks me to high heavens. He loops his breathe in the background as if he’s trying to gather whether or not he has rank breath. Moving on, I pressed skip during “Blunt Blowin” once I heard the chorus where I heard that he would beat a man’s derriere whether or not he is on a bus. And all the while his underwear will certainly be showing. You could bet your bus pass on it.

Not that we all don’t know already, but “6 Foot 7” is just fine. The silent “G” line gets me every time. The next track, “Nightmares Of The Bottom,” is one of my favorites, despite the title. The piano rules. It’s a bit introspective. Plus, it has a bunch of witty lines, and that’s why people keep him on the playlist.

The first Drake song to come up is called “She Will” and it’s absolutely terrible. I’m not even saying this in jest. It’s actually very bad. Boy Drake really let me down with the hook. There’s barely even a melody there. And why is Drake becoming the new hookman, anyway? He can’t sing. Everyone is aware of that. I guess because the song will be a guaranteed single material, even if in truth it isn’t. The beat is neat, all things considered.

By far, the best part of this album comes from the second single off Carter IV. And it’s not even Lil Wayne’s doing. It comes from Sir Rick Ross with his line “Red on the wall/Basquiat when I paint.” That reference to painter Jean-Michel Basquiat is so neat. I got giddy when I heard it.

 Then there’s that John Mayer-esque song “How To Love.” Acoustic guitar? Really Weez Dog? How can you rhyme about shooting people and then drop a song with acoustic guitar in it. How can you get out of jail for having illegal guns and then drop a song with acoustic guitar in it. The Fray should have done the chorus, really. That’s not street.
It’s a shame; “I Like The View” might be one of the finest songs on the record, except it’s only available on the deluxe addition. In fact, all of the bonus tracks are better than most of the album. So if you’re going to actually buy it, you might as well spring for the deluxe edition, which I assume anyone actually paying money for the album will do, anyway. I don’t feel like anybody reasons, “Gee, I like this album enough to buy it, but I’m not going to buy the deluxe edition, that’s just too much.”