I Love Me Somes Half Naked Boys…Yummy

By Kelly Yu

There are so many things I love about spring: the smell of flowers, the perpetual sunshine, and the shirtless boys on the Staller steps. Every time I walk by the steps, I take a look over to the lawn to see if there are any hot, beautiful boys practicing capoeira or just playing Ultimate Frisbee. Every time I see a shirtless chest or toned arms, it makes me feel so grateful to spring for allowing these boys to take off their shirts. I know what you’re thinking-I’m a pervert, some kind of sexual deviant unfit for the dainty life of a lady.

Well fuck that. I get horny too and so does every other girl on campus. It is a double standard to think that girls shouldn’t objectify men because along with those shirtless boys on Staller steps, there are the girls in bikinis trying to tan in peace. Perhaps this is our little secret amongst all girl-kind. When guys aren’t around, we still talk about the stereotypical elementary school girl stuff: my super secret crush, the hot guy in the Press room, and that random weird guy who sits in the front of physics class. But since middle school, things have changed a bit. We grew breasts, we found what sex really was, we even found out there is a condom for women. The idea of only guys watching porn and talking about seven different ways to diverge from the Karma Sutra is now blurring to include women. Women are now taking what boys have always been talking about in the locker rooms to the coffee shops. We care about dick size, we care about your virginity and we care if you can really hit it the way we like it. We even talk about that problem you have that, I swear, really isn’t that common.

Guys may have a secret stash of porn on their computers, but girls have millions of pictures of James McAvoy, Hayden Christensen, and Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow (because let’s face it, he’s not so attractive without the eyeliner and hair, you savvy?). Objectifying men is just as common as objectifying women, but men get so much shit for it. The great part about being a girl is knowing that this is a part of who we are. We have always seen guys and first thought, “Wow, he’s got really sexy eyes” or “What a tight ass.” It’s who we are and while guys will say it without reserve, women will wait to go to the bathroom and ask one of their friends if they have a condom.

Guys, next time you decide to call a girl a slut or a whore for rejecting you, remember that that same girl is talking about how awkward you are and how small your balls must be for trash talking her. Don’t get me wrong, we still love you and appreciate your goofy shirtless antics to get noticed. Yes, we’re noticing. And girls, don’t be ashamed to be as slutty as you want to be as long as you are okay with yourself in the morning. Guys may have porn and strip clubs, but the we girls at Stony Brook will always have the Staller steps.