What a Drag Show; Warning: Full of Innuendo

By Doug Cion

When I heard there was to be a drag show happening in Tabler on April 10, I figured that this would be a great opportunity for me to get involved with the activities on campus. When I arrived at the Tabler Arts Center, a place I have never been before (I have passed the dreaded steps many times but never ventured up them), I knew I was in for something different. I am as straight as they come, but I am all about one’s freedom.

For the members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Alliance (LGBTA) to have gotten people involved with their club and had fun doing it, I give them my utmost respect. The show, in fact, was something different and quite enjoyable. The audience laughed, clapped and danced while the performers on stage truly brought a new meaning to the term ‘interpretive dance’. The end of the show was the icing on the cake, when the people in the audience were invited on stage to flaunt their inner gay. However, it seemed very fitting that the final act, which was the audience participation was entitled “Sexy Party.” I have not attended a sexier party since the last time I sat in front of my computer.

The show consisted of ten acts and then the audience participation. The first thing I would like to bring to the reader’s attention is the ability of the Press’ Alex Nagler and his showmanship. Alex is a true showman. He entertained the crowd as the crew was setting up more chairs for the relentless flow of viewers, kept everyone’s spirits up and controlled the atmosphere of the audience. Let’s face it, the people who had come to the show knew what they were coming to see, but Alex made sure everyone was prepped and ready to have fun. Upon Alex’s return to his original position as sound guy (he does it all), the two drag king MCs took over. Overall, they did a bang-up job keeping the show going, as well as impersonating men. Their jokes had their moments, but when they started losing the audience, they promptly kept the show moving and got to the performances. When they introduced the audience to the character of Mixie, to get the show started, they delivered a taste of what to expect. It created anticipation, which is always a good thing.

The first performance was one of the best of the night. They kicked the show off right, with an A Night at the Roxbury parody by David and Michaelmangelo. Dressed in sporty shorts and a batman t-shirt, they made a gayer Batman than Joel Schumacher could have ever created. With the audience clapping and the performers skipping together and bopping their heads, this performance lubed up the audience for the rest of the night. From there, Jay-X and Heyonce Squared (a lineup which consisted of one woman impersonating Jay-Z and two men as Beyonce) did a mock performance of “Crazy in Love.” It was quick, funny and it brought out the first drag queen performance. By including props like stripper poles, the performers in this act made sure the audience would remember their segment. The third performance brought out the Backdoor Boys and their rendition of cheesy boy band choreography and goofy song lyrics. The energy and enthusiasm of the lead “singer” of the group broug

ht excitement to the audience, and the other four just made it sexy. Five girls dressed as the clichéd boy band members: this one was definitely one of my favorites. It was after this performance that we were introduced to Richard (“Dick” for short) Fitswell. Dressed like your typical R&B singer, Dick unbuckled the belt holding up the pants containing the audience’s heart. Though it did have some dull moments, the shooting star was definitely the climax (seriously), and kudos to Dick for being the first solo performance. No assistance was necessary.

At the midpoint of the show, we met Marvin Zaas as Meatloaf and Ellen Damnation as that girl who sings with Meatloaf. Their rendition of “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” was pretty impressive. Though it is a very long song (there were times where the performance was losing it) it was purposely cut shorter, and that may have been responsible for its success—that cutting, and Ellen having the biggest boobs out of all the performers. (Yeah, I crossed that line).

Now we come to my favorite performance of the night. Everyone loves a little Esinem, and I think the audience loved his rendition of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.” The lips were in sync with the words, and the mimicked movements really embodied he who is the rapper known as Marshal Mathers. The black eye was extensive—however, it sealed the deal and made this act my favorite. The point I would like to make about this segment, though, is that I find it quite amusing that in a show full of sexual innuendo and crude gestures, they would find it necessary to bleep out the curse words of the song. After Esinem, gangster, walked back to 8 Mile, Mixie returned to the stage with Charlie for a steamy yet skillful dance to “Hot Stuff.” In her cocktail dress and dancing shoes, Mixie whirled and twirled as Charlie did what every man

does when dancing: sat there and watched. (I am just kidding, Charlie. The dance moves you showed were just as good.)

After this, Richard Fitswell and Ta Quanda (from Heyonce Squared) came back on stage for another performance, with Chris McFeeley, as they nailed the Merry Men dance scene from Robin Hood: Men In Tights. Kudos to those who performed more than one scene—especially Ta Qua

nda, who went on with the show despite a “wardrobe malfunction”.

Upon their exit, we were introduced to TheO, another solo act, set to the music of Barenaked Ladies. This performance was uplifting and more rock-out-with-a-certain-appendage-out. Though the title of the song was “It’s All Been Done,” this could have not been more wrong. The show could have remained entertaining for hours, but there are only so many LGBTA members.

It is after this performance when we got to the conclusion of the show, in which Alex is invited back on stage. Now, Alex had been walking around in a trench coat all night. Could it have been that he had something special on under it? Maybe it was the clean-shaven legs that gave it away the surprise for me—rather than Alex coming back on stage, the crowd was treated to a cameo from Shirley Johnson. With Shirley controlling the crowd and all the performers back on the stage for their curtain call, the Sexy Party had begun.

Upon the conclusion of all the performances members of the audience were allowed to come on stage and show their stuff to Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.” When the song ends the show is over right? In this case, not if the LGBTA had anything to say about it. The humping party on stage continued to the trance hit, Darude’s “Sandstorm.” This capped off a terrific and entertaining show that was worth both of the two dollars I had donated. As the humping party continued, I got up and headed towards the exit. As I proceeded to leave the Arts Center, I thought to myself, “What a world we live in. What a perfect time to be unsure of one’s sexuality, to be confused or to be worried about acceptance.” There is always someone out there who is available to help and who knows what it’s like. Great job, LGBTA!